Reader, BLB (Bratty Little Brother for those new to the blog) is today 18 years of age. He has been wandering round the house in a state of what can only be described as shock. But I don't think he can be any more shocked than the rest of us!
You see folks, BLB has turned out rather well. He's about to sit his final exams at college (and great things have been predicted for his results), he's got offers from all of the uni's he applied to, he's got a girlfriend who is also in education and he's very polite to old people. He even washes occasionally. This is amazing. Why? Well, this was not a future we envisioned for 4 year old BLB.
4 year old BLT was a demonic hell child, made all the worse by the fact that he had the face of an angel, with his big blue eyes, white hair and rosy cheeks (complete with dimples Reader, DIMPLES!). You'd look at him and think 'Aww, what a sweet child!' He'd smile sweetly at you and you'd get tricked into approaching. Five minutes later, you'd be nursing a bleeding bitten hand, he'd have smashed some prized ornaments and be screeching on the floor, wiping his snotty nose on the carpet, his face roughly the colour of a slightly over-ripe tomato. And it probably all stemmed from you mentioning Marks and Spencers or Tesco. BLB was not a fan of large shops. Or indeed, any shops, apart from toy shops or the local newsagent where we used to spend our 50p a week pocket money on pick n mix. BLB did not like the world. He was quite convinced that the world, in fact, was out to get him, and it was as if he decided to get the world first. Nothing could please him *and oh god did we try*. We gave him a Nintendo. He got angry when he didn't understand the games at once and hurled the controller across the floor in a fit of fury. We took him to Disneyworld (every child's dream!) and he got an unexpected bout of homesickness and shouted every day 'I wanna go back to the house with the chimney!' He also hated every ride with the exception of the Star Wars one (no child was as obsessed with Star Wars than BLB and he made us go on it 3 times). He got frightened by Pluto and screamed at the poor man in the suit as if he was a demon sent from hell to reclaim him. He got given the lead role in his christmas nursery play but when it came time for him to go on stage screamed 'NOOOOOOO' and sulked behind the curtains.We got him a really cool space style bunk bed. He hated it and slept on the floor. BLB was, to put it mildly, a difficult child.
Saying that, it has made for some seriously hilarious memories, which tonight, when we go out for his birthday meal, I am in no doubt we will tell to one another and fall about in hysterics, as we always do on evenings out. And thank God, we can now, because he has gone from being the demon child from hell to a very fun to be around teenager, who's great at taking the piss out of himself and others, is very witty and political, polite to old people and charming to strangers and who lets his family tell all those awfully embarrassing stories without getting too huffy. Plus, he was actually quite cute as a kid, like the time in Disneyworld he got star struck by Mickey mouse and hugged his leg and wouldn't let go. And when he'd fall asleep with his plastic builder's belt on. Or maybe that's just the rose tinted spectacles of hindsight!
So on that note, I wish my BLB a happy 18th and say goodbye dear Reader
Till next time!