By Aislinn De'Ath

By Aislinn De'Ath
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Saturday, 31 December 2011

New years new....

Hello Reader! I'm currently writing this on my smartphone which means a) technology is taking over the world b) I am on a train and c) this may take a while. I'm off to spend New Year's Eve with The Lad's family ooop north, where there shall be much eating and drinking (Hurrah!). Now, it's customary around this time of year to make a few resolutions. I'm not really a big fan of that, as I tend to find that if I make them at New year I tend not to keep them, but if i did, this is what they'd be.

Ash's new Year resolutions (at least they would be if she made any ever)

1) keep below 9 stone. This one is mainly to do with acting stuff, not in an 'I need to be skinny to get parts' way but in an 'oh god I sent off measurements for my costume when I was at my skinniest and will defo be bursting out if i keep eating chips so often' sort of way. Also, at one point in the play I'm doing, I play someone who's like, fourteen. Fourteen year olds are not so much with the boobiness. Well. At least I wasn't when I was fourteen. I had friends who were, but I was flat as a pancake till I went off to uni and something in the water made them grow like a marvel comic.

2) get good reviews for my theatre tour. You know, cause that'd be rather nice. And I could put them in my scrapbook next to my other (one) review and tell my grandchildren what a glam young actress I was. I will, obviously, be glossing over the less glamorous times. Grandchildren do not need to hear about working at a call centre.

3) move into own place with The Lad (well, one can dream!) Somewhere with a smeg fridge and an exposed redbrick wall and maybe even a balcony. *sigh*

4) go on holiday somewhere hot. Because I haven't for YEARS. Don't care where so long as it's not chav tastic and has a pool. And a beach with sand. And alcohol. This would be a great present if any of my wealthy friends win the lottery...

5) read war and peace. I think this has been on my to do list for the past three years or so...

6) spend time with friends and family. This one may be difficult what with the tour and all, but I'll regret it if i don't, and let's face it, they're all FABULOUS so effort must be made.

7) get even more acting work. Maybe something with the BBC. Or directed by Mike leigh. Or another theatre tour! Tell you what, someone just give my number to the Hollywood organiser. That person exists right? You know, the person who goes, 'ah yes, let's make this person a verrrry popular actor in England for 2 years, then let them break into America, do some fabby Canadian work, then only have to do two films/plays a year for the rest of their life.' If that person IS reading this, I would love to play Hedda Gabler. Or if they're making a film based on Bluebeard, the female lead in that is awesome. know what? Just keep me in acting work and I'll be happy.

8) do some charity work. For the soul. Which is probably a bit tarnished from all my consumerism, buying Primark clothes, and not being vegan, and given that me and my friends were talking about the end of the world the other day, I reckon I need to give it a bit of a polish. Also, it's nice.

9) do something completely new. Even if it's just learning to make pasta with my exciting new pasta maker. Or dying my hair a new colour. Would be better if was something exciting though, like cuddling a baby tiger or playing ice hockey.

10) wear more exciting clothes. Because I can be really bloody boring sometimes with my choices, and when people buy me mad but gorgeous clothes I wear them to death and remember how much I adore looking a bit eccentric! The mother got me the most incredible little fifties style mini-dress with Sailor Jerry girls all over it and I keep wanting to wear it every day.

11) keep this blog up. Because at the end of January, I'll have been writing it for a whole year, and it would be a shame to stop now!

And that's about all I can think of! It used to be 'give up smoking' but I did that.  Yay. It's been quite a good year though Reader, I finished drama school, lived with a boyfriend for the first time, visited Ireland for the first time in ages, went to a health spa, did some interesting films, worked in a job for the longest I've ever managed (6 months so far!), got parts in radio and internet adverts, got the part of a lifetime to do a theatre tour next year, turned 23, saw my little brother off to uni, honed my baking skills, learnt to make steak despite being a veggie and have even managed to end the year with a little money saved up! I'm quite proud. I hope you've had a lovely year too Reader, and I hope that next year is even better.
Keep reading!

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Christmas cupcakes (a tad late)

Reader! Here it is! The long awaited Christmas edition of mine and SJ's cake exploits blog! This time, we focused on finding the most Christmassy cakes from some of the shops we've tried in the past to see if they should go on our crimble list or be chucked out with the leftover sprouts. By the end of the day, we were so cupcaked out we had to go eat enormous amounts of salt, just to get some semblance of balance back in our poor hyperactive bodies. But the results were seriously mixed! Some of our best scorers let us down, and a new entry rocked the boat! So lets crack on with...

It was a cold and windswept day when we rolled up in central London, wearing so many layers we looked slightly like Verucca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, post chewing gum. I had been working at Spitafields Market since 7.30am doing a promotions job (highly glam jobbing actor's job...if you ignore the freezing weather conditions) and had noticed a Hummingbird Bakery tucked away around the corner. Now, you may remember Reader, that the last time we went to a Hummingbird, the cake did rather well. In fact, it got 10/10, the highest we had ever scored a cake. The only reason it lost out overall was that the staff could have done with being a bit more attentive. So we were full of excitement to try the festive range. Unfortunately, the most exciting options were not available that day. We'd been hoping for their egg-nog cupcake, or maybe a go at the mint candycane one as we hadn't seen anything remotely similar anywhere else, but because the festive menu gets rotated on a daily basis, the only option available to us was the chocolate orange flavour. At first we were a little glum about this, it seemed a bit boring, I mean, yes, we got the Christmassy theme being that everyone always gets a Terry's chocolate orange in their stocking, but would it really knock our socks off? The server assured us that it was really good, and she did seem to know what she was talking about (although once again we weren't altogether delighted with the service, she only gave us one fork despite us asking for two, then gave us a wooden one when we asked for another, wasn't very smiley or conversational and took ages just to get a cupcake to us). As usual, the shop was clean, well presented and stylish, but they seriously lost out on Christmas points! SJ and I are very much into our big, cheesy Christmas decorations. All there was at hummingbird was a couple of stickers on the window. I mean, really. The other slight issue was that there was only one table inside, and it was reserved. In a cupcake shop. On one of the coldest days of the year. Yes. Really. So we had to sit outside with our cake! How cruel. 

But reader, please do not think that the experience was all bad. The cake....oh lordy....the cake was amazing. It was richer than their usual chocolate cake, so moist I didn't really need my drink and the orange flavour tasted like genuine orange rather than fake flavouring. The buttercream was perfect in both taste and texture and we agreed that if it wasn't for the fact that we were about to embark on a whole load of cupcakes, we would have gotten another one each! 

PRICE: 3.95 (Yes, blooming expensive, but seriously worth it)
Taste: 10/10 (again!)
Staff: 5/10
Price: 8/10
Festivity: 1/10
Overall: 24/40

Oh dear Hummingbird! The best cakes, as ever, but your service (and Christmas cheer) needs some looking at! 


Now, Cox, Cookies & Cakes is a company who knows how to do Christmas. We walked in to fairy lights everywhere, festive statues and Christmas tunes blaring. The staff were initially a little standoffish (although the guy was attempting to do some form of mini photoshoot at the time with a cake) but warmed up throughout our visit, chatting away and giving us advice on cake and were gorgeous as ever (Oh Patrick Cox, you know how to make us ladies happy). Once again, we were given free hot coco (this time with whipped cream!) with our cake and there were chairs available (thank goodness!). We opted for the orange and cranberry star cake. The cake had a lovely sugar star on top which was a nice touch, some juicy fruit that tasted as if it had been soaked prior to baking and you get a lot of cake for your money. The icing was also particularly good, and the ratio of icing to sponge was excellent. Unfortunately, the sponge was a little dry and not very orangey, it could almost have done with a splash of juice in there! The icing did make up for it though, and there was certainly none left on our plates by the end!

PRICE: £2.50
Flavour: 7.5/10
Staff: 8/10
Festivity: 9/10
Overall: 34.5/40
Bravo Cox, Cookies and Cakes. We like you a lot.


As we were walking back from Cox, we chanced upon a little cake shop called Sweet Couture, whose window was full of gorgeously presented cakes and a triple tiered red velvet cake that made us dash in (even though we both really needed a wee and there was no loo). They had a cake called Winter Spice which caught our eye at once with it's silver balls and bright orange icing. The woman who served us was lovely, very chatty, very friendly, just what we look for in a staff person! And she gave us both forks and a knife. Fabulous. The shop was also very christmassy, with the window adorned with a massive ribbon, it looked as if it had been giftwrapped! Unfortunately, the shop was let down by the cake. The sponge was quite dry, and so spicy it actually burnt going down. Too much nutmeg had been used, although it was a valiant effort and we did love the silver balls. The icing wasn't half bad, but we would almost have preferred a vanilla sponge to offset the spice! 
PRICE: £2.50
Flavour: 6/10
Price: 8/10
Staff: 9/10
Overall: 33/40
Nice try Sweet Couture, maybe we'll give you a go again in the future!


Reader, you may remember that last time we tried Primrose Bakery, we loved it. The cakes were delicious, the staff were a delight and the shop was perfect. So we had some pretty high expectations. We were a little disappointed by the fact that they only had two Christmas options, Christmas Pudding or bog standard Vanilla (although granted, the decorations on the vanilla ones were gorgeous).

 We went for Christmas Pudding because it sounded like it might be interesting. And it was. Sort of. In not the best way we've ever come across.  The thing is, Primrose bakery is LOVELY. Walking in is like taking a breath of fresh air. It was quiet, there were chairs and the staff were nice. But there were no Christmas decorations. Which was a shame, because the cake was then a bit like being assaulted by Santa. They used brandy butter for icing, which as a concept is nice, but it was overpowering in the extreme.The cinnamon in the sponge was like smoking a stick of the stuff and we ended up leaving much of it on the plate. Such disappointment!
 PRICE: 2.50
Staff: 7.5/10
Price: 7/10
Festivity: 3/10
Overall: 21.5/10
Look how sad you made SJ....for shame.


Reader, we should have known better. We've done Candy Cakes before and it was rubbish. But we were cold and running out of ideas that were nearby. So we thought it would only be fair to give them another chance. They only had one option, blueberry with a marshmallow reindeer on top (which is great, unless you're a veggie like me). The staff were distracted and kept chatting instead of paying attention to us as customers (in fact, they were so distracted that they later missed seeing a french kid smoking inside and then stealing a load of their sweets. They had a minimum payment limit for cards (YOU'RE IN CENTRAL LONDON! IN A BIT THAT HAS NO CASHPOINTS!!!) The cake was a bit blah, as expected. It was more of a muffin with icing than a cupcake, and to be honest, they needed to take a page out of the american cake makers book, they did not do baking with blueberries well. The problem is, Candy Cakes always looks really nice from a distance, and then you try it and it's a bit poo. It's like someone really passionate about cake started it, then let a crap management company cake over and ruin it. At least they had a Christmas tree. 
PRICE: £3.50
Flavour: 4.5/10
Staff: 3/10
Price: 2/10
Festivity: 5/10
Overall: 14.5/40
The lower edge of moderate. You made us look like grumpy yetis. 

Keep tuned for our New Years blog entry folks!
Ash & SJ

Wednesday, 21 December 2011


Reader, today I had my last day of work of the year. I was really tempted not to go because

a) I've twisted my ankle and so have a ridiculous limp (and the job involved lots of walking)
b) I had a crazy allergic reaction and one of my eyes was so swollen when I woke up I could barely open it
c) I'd had 3 hours sleep

but I went anyway because my boss is lovely and it would have been ridiculously hard to find someone to cover for me at such late notice. Also, because it was the last day, I knew it would be lovely and everyone would be full of high spirits! This turned out to be true of my co-workers, but not so much the  po-faced business people we were trying to give flyers to. But nothing could shake my optimism, because it's Christmas really really soon and the woman who won our big prize draw was both pregnant and had a hubby in the armed forces which meant she might be spending the holidays alone (well...actually, she was wearing a Help for Heroes badge, so I just sort of assumed all the rest, but it certainly made it more special when she won £500 in vouchers!). And now I'm free Reader! Free to spend my days watching film after terrible film on the Christmas24 movie channel and sneaking chocolates off the tree! Free to attempt to make a card holder (might leave that to my dad actually, his card holders are the stuff of legend. They don't always work, but they always look interesting. Like a piece of conceptional art from the 90s)! Free to make yule logs and try and make my hair get the Nigella bounce!

Today I got to watch It's A Wonderful Life with the parents (and a glass of something alcoholic and orangey) at which I cried (as I always do), plus we got to crack open the first box of chocolates of the season and I was introduced to The Graduate which made me cackle like an old biddy. How have I not seen it before? It's such a class act of a film, and so not what I expected. I even had a chance to tidy my room and get halfway through Jane Eyre (one of my fave winter books) whilst also planning my Gran's Yule log (I'm making the desserts for her Christmas dinner this year) and managing not to fall over my pathetic limpy foot. And to be honest, I'm planning on not leaving the house (with the exception of dire emergencies like more cream being needed or running out of brie) till we go to visit family on Christmas Eve!

On that note Reader, good night! Hope your dreams are full of mince pies and crackers!

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Children steal the covers

Reader, last night my seven year old cousin stayed over (largely to allow her parents to go to a Christmas party) which gave me a taste of what it must be like to have kids. As it's me doing the looking after, of course, there was quite a bit of baking, which mostly involved me making her wash her hands every five minutes because she's got a cough. Also there was lots of 'Can I lick the bowl?' 'No, it's got raw egg in it', 'what about this bowl?' ' That bowl too' 'what about this one?' 'That's got flour in it' 'But can I lick it?' (thinks about it) 'go on then'....'GAH! It tastes horrible!' Life lesson learnt there. Not sure what life lesson, maybe 'not everything in a cake bowl tastes like cake' but I feel like that's some serious parenting right there.

The other thing that came about was that little cousin taught me some life lessons. She tried some cookie dough *what is it about kids having to try everything* and went 'OW' then told me it was far too hot and she'd burnt her tongue. Being a smug grown up, of course, I tried some, only to yelp when my tongue singed. So what life lesson is that 'believe kids when they tell you not to do something'? To be fair, this is the same girl who won't use our loo without someone standing guard outside because there's a mermaid picture in there that freaks her out, she claims when she looked at it, it widened it's eyes at her (she watches a lot of Dr. Who), to try and calm her down, I told her the picture granted wishes, but she just said 'you can have my wish then'. Clever girl.

Because little cousin wanted a proper girly sleepover, we snd set out the sofa bed in the gym, where we watched Hoodwinked (which she loved). The only thing was, little cousin got to sleep pretty early and slept through all night, whereas I was up about four times, checking all the tree lights were off, checking Dad had got in ok, at one point I even got worried the little one might get hypothermia, so I went and got another blanket out to lay on top of us. Clearly little cousin had no such similar concerns for me, as when we woke up in the morning, she had turned herself into a sort of blanket larvae, and I was shivering like a little frost bitten match girl. At which point she was cheeky enough to go 'It was lovely and warm last night, wasn't it Ash?'. No, no it bleeding wasn't. Currently, she's pretending to be a spy with my dad, who's telling her she needs a fake tache as a disguise. She's convinced spying just involves hiding, but she is clearly wrong.

It just reinforces the idea in my head that I don't need to have kids yet. I have more than enough young cousins that I can look after them for a day, get my parenting fix and then pass them back to their parents when I need alone time. Easy peasy. None of this having to sort them out when they misbehave nonsense, just the fun watching cartoons bit.

Also, last night, my friend Kate popped over with her lovely mum and gave me some home made truffles. Am I excited about eating them? I've been thinking of little else since they arrived. Today is my last weigh in before Christmas, which means I can actually enjoy Christmas food from now on! Hurrah!

8 more sleeps till Christmas Reader!

P.s. hopefully you'll be getting the festive cake blog soon!

Monday, 12 December 2011

But baby it's cold outside...

Reader, my tummy hurts today (largely because yesterday all my day's worth of food in one very large, very delicious meal), it's blummin' freezing outside and I have a lot of wrapping to do. All of these seem to be very good reasons to stay in bed. Unfortunately I have work later, so I have a limited amount of time to be stubborn about it, but for now I've had my breakfast here, I've ordered pressies from here and if I can find the sellotape (which the parents have callously hidden), I'll do my wrapping here.

I had the office party on Saturday, which was great fun (although I wore a bit too much make up and am quite sure I looked a bit like a trannie). I got ready at my friend's house, where wonderful snackage was provided (pizza and prosecco, fabulous combo) while having a jolly good gossip and  getting tarted up. Then it was off (through blisteringly cold streets) to a bar in Leicester Square, where we were given a Christmas bonus of £20 (I spent mine on shots) and there was some seriously crap music playing. Luckily, me and my Liverpudlian friend were there to save the day and we got a bit of Dolly Parton and some Arthea playing (which led to some seriously awful dancing on my part). The problem was, what with the combo of airless basement bar, lots of people, booze and some hardcore dancing, I looked a MESS (I didn't actually realise how much till I was on the train home and checked my eye make-up in my compact, needless to say, there are crack addicts that look better to me.) At one point I had seen one of my colleagues come to chat to me, look horrified then do a swift 180 and talk to someone else. I hadn't realised it was because they were afraid of my face, but given how much like Pete Doherty in a dress I looked, I'm hardly surprised.

What was nice though, was that it was the first time in ages that I let go on a dancefloor without caring how I looked. Mainly because I was having FAR too much fun looking like a complete and utter knob. Hopefully there'll be another excuse to dance like a crazy again soon!

In other news, we put up our Christmas trees this weekend, which involved lots of arguing between Dad and I (he's an architect and loves the minimal look, whereas if I don't get a full on Dickensian Christmas, I am likely to sulk), more of my home made mince pies, Dad almost falling off a ladder trying to wind fairy lights round the foliage in our garden, Santa hats, Christmas music blaring out louder than a rave, Mum getting grumpy because Dad hadn't organised the cards properly and The Lad hiding under a slanket trying not to get roped into doing any work. Now the house looks utterly gorgeous, the perfect environment for me to learn lines in! Am getting very excited about the tour, but also pretty nervous. After all, it will be the longest I'll ever have done a show for, and the first time I'll have done theatre for about two years (eep!). I'm sure it'll be grand though, I'm so delighted that I'm finally going to be in a show my grandparents can come see (no nudity or violence? Perfect!) and I'll get to stay with one of my oldest friends for the entire rehearsal process! Which will mean vast amounts of trash tv and cheese. Perfect.

Right, I might attempt to leave the bed, I have one room left in the house which hasn't been fully Crimble-fied and this must be addressed!

Happy 12th day till Christmas!

Friday, 9 December 2011


Reader, this has been a very long, very busy week. I have been up every day at about 5.30am and most days have not got home till around 10pm. I have been juggling acting work (that's the nice bit, one advert gig and two radio recordings, hurrah!), call centre work, promotions work, hospital appointments and getting ready for Christmas. Now I keep dozing off every few minutes (despite having had a nap earlier today...bliss) and my skin is suffering (I currently look like something in the woods parents warn their kids about) along with my stress levels (ever found yourself swearing at a fork? I have.).

Luckily, this weekend should be a surefire cure, I'm off to pick my Christmas trees with the dad on Saturday, going for my office Christmas party that night (during which I plan to get fabulously tipsy with my work friends in my new eighties style dress), decorating my trees Sunday, watching the muppets Christmas. Bliss. But first I have to get through an aerobics class tomorrow morning. Oh dear. Apart from that it should be pretty perfect though!

This week I've noticed signs that I am ageing quite scarily fast. How do I know this is happening? Well, I've become frequently aware of the commercialisation of Christmas (I had a tantrum because my Advent calender had a door in it that said 'Merry Cadbury Christmas' don't need to bloody promote yourselves I'M ALREADY EATING YOUR CHOCOLATE!!! It made me want to stamp on it, but I didn't because that would be a waste of delicious delicious chocolate.) If I had a choice, my Christmases would be Dickensian affairs with candles everywhere and real trees (none of this fake pine crap), there would be carol concerts every night and Christmas films on every channel. To be fair, this is remarkably close to what my family Christmases are like. Bloody marvellous. Although I'm increasingly finding I can't venture to the local shops because I get hulk stylee angry at cartoon character Christmas decorations. There are some things I am willing to overlook. Yes, we all know santa's real clothes are green, and it was his deal with Coca Cola that made them red, but given that not every santa costume has coca cola advertised on the bum, I'm ok with that. Ben Ten tree decorations are just plain wrong, and I'm sorry, but whoever came up with the idea of a Christmas Justin Beiber range needs a good kicking. Ok. That's THAT rant over.

The second reason for knowing I'm getting old is that I've become increasingly aware of customer service. I do work in the service industry, so that probably doesn't help (especially because I'm a stickler for making sure customers get what they asked for), but I get driven mad by bad phone advisers or sales people. I've stopped going to Patisserie Valerie altogether because the service is always so bad, and I've become one of those biddies who complains if she's not altogether delighted with the service and sends a letter of congratulations (with glitter) if people are friendly and quick. Two organisations in particular keep cropping up for me. One is Amazon, for good reasons. Every time I've dealt with Amazon, they've been polite, well meaning and fast. Just today I called them because of a package that hasn't arrived (which turned out to be the fault of Royal Mail) and they were sensational, instantly apologising and arranging for a solution, reducing my irritation by about 250% and leaving me with warm fuzzlies. Then you've got completely the other side, the NHS. You do get the rare gems in there (I have two local GPs who I adore and feel very comfortable with and would go to every time if I could) but for the most part, there is far too much lack of customer care, because yes, we ARE customers, even though we pay through our taxes rather than direct to them. Today was a prime example. I had an appointment at 8.30 in the morning, I turned up at 8.20 (early as ever) then had to wait half an hour to be seen (the nurse didn't even show up till 8.45 and I didn't receive an apology for her lateness, which isn't really even a customer service thing, just a politeness thing). There were cracks in the ceiling, strange Frankenstein style stains down the walls and the waiting area was freezing. Now, don't get me wrong, I am pro-NHS. I think we are very very lucky to live in a country that has a health system through which you don't have to pay for an ambulance or a heart transplant. But it needs improvement. I've been to NHS hospitals that are gorgeous, clean and spacious and full of lovely friendly workers. But there does seem to be a trend with the London ones where standards are slipping, and it isn't good enough. Maybe I should send a letter to someone. Is it too much to ask that the hospital shop sells nice food? Or that there are a couple of magazines for people to read? I don't think so!

Rant over, back to christmas joy and jingle!

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Losing flab: The Epic Journey..

Reader, since I left uni and started seriously pursuing acting as a career, I have invariably been on one 'healthy eating' plan or another. I hesitate to use the word diet, because nearly all of them have stressed that they're not diets, they're ways of life. Which is a bit ridiculous really. Let's face it, creator's of health food, the whole point of you is to make fat people skinny. You are changing what they eat. Which is, essentially, called dieting. The main problem seems to be that whenever I get a bit fat (generally once or twice a year) I go 'Crap! I can't fit into my size 10s!' and what follows are a fair few months of counting calories and exercising (usually sporadically, I am really quite lazy). Then, as soon as I get to a size I'm happy with, I sort of forget why I started eating healthily in the first place and pick up my usual bad (but delicious) habits. Like eating buttery toast while I wait for dinner to cook. Or grating cheese over EVERYTHING. Or deciding that actually, the vending machine at work is my new best friend and I should visit it every couple of hours. I am a bit all or nothing. I've never reached anorexic stages (mainly because I'm such a massive foodie, I don't think I could bear to miss out, but also because I have no patience with tummy rumbling), but I think I do have a slight addiction to diets now. Then again, most women I come across seem to. Some are on the Cambridge (which seems to be a posher version of slimfast, so I avoid it with my life as slimfast just made me very grumpy for two weeks and my skin turned a horrible colour), some do the Dukan and have terrible breath because of all the cottage cheese, some do weight watchers (as did I, before they changed the system and it all got a bit complex) and some do the blood type (not ideal for me as I don't even know what blood type I am). Some of my friends (mainly men, but a couple of the girls too) are even on diets to gain weight.

What seems odd to me, is that these ways of eating are very very hard. It would be really great if our bodies would crave what we needed to be the size we look best at, surely evolution should work like that? Maybe it already does and I just look my best at a size 14, but I like to run, and as any girl will tell you, jogging with a booty is hard blooming work. To be honest, as an actor, my size constantly changes to suit the roles I play. Back when I was at drama school, I once had to be a burlesque dancer, a character who took great joy from all the sensual elements. So I really enjoyed my food for the role and put on about half a stone from all the dark chocolate (Best character prep EVER!). Conversely, for my final role, a widowed doctor who had moved into pathology, part of what I felt about the character was that she took no joy from food and her only real escape was early morning sprinting (it was the first time I had ever taken up running, and I did not enjoy it. It took me months to attempt it again!) so I ended up really skinny. My next big role will be in a national tour of a Dickens production next year, in which I play both the adult version of the part, and the young teenage version, and my boobs would have given me away had I not done some serious calorie deduction!

The thing is, there is something quite OCD and whilst fun isn't the word, pleasant might be, about keeping track of what you're eating. And it means that when I do pig out (which I do, at least once a week, this week it was chip shop chips with slabs of bread and butter! Mmmmmm...) I really enjoy it. Also, I feel really good about my figure, to the extent where I can wear skin tight clothes if I want to (since I have an hourglass figure naturally, when I'm slightly larger I can't really do this as it verges on pornographic and I usually get sent back upstairs to put something else on). I think the important thing is to not get too obsessed and know what's healthy and what's not. I've seen friends take dieting too far, and that's been enough for me to never be tempted to go over the top, I don't want to look like a skeleton unless it's halloween cheers...

So yeah. Don't get obsessive Readers! Like writing a blog about your eating habits....erm....

P.s. Another reason I'm being super healthy at the mo is that Christmas is coming up. I tend to put on a looooot of bounce over Christmas and I'm off to the in-laws for new year. Frankly, I don't intend to skimp on potatoes and quality street. So losing a bit pre-holidays means I can shovel it down like there's no tomorrow!

P.P.S Remember folks, dieting ISN'T a lifestyle-it's a way to fit more chocolate in when the time comes!

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Mince pies GET IN MY BELLY!

Oh Reader, today has been, quite frankly, bloody brilliant. It's one of my fave days of the year, the first of december, a day I look forward to for a number of reasons.

a) It's the first day I allow myself to listen to christmas songs on my i-pod. I have a selection which goes on Prunella (my i-pod) every year, and I've been listening to most of them since I was a bubba. There's the Frank Sinatra Christmas album, the Christmas with Bing album, the cheesy christmas hits that everyone gets sick of really early album and a bit of Ella Fitzgerald shoved in there too. The first time I listen to 'the first snowfall of the winter' always makes me go goosepimply, even though due to stupid global warming, this year it's more like the first bit of rank acid rain of the winter.

b) It's the first day I allow myself to eat mince pies. Today I had two. One that I got for free with my Skinny Toffeenut Latte and one Mr. Kipling one (because let's face it, however posh a mince pie is, it'll NEVER be as good as a Mr. Kipling...). I do feel vaguely ill now and as such am skipping dinner (possibly a bad idea as now all I want is chips for breakfast). It was worth it though, every crumb was a genuine delight of crimble brilliance. And they had none of that puff pastry pine ridiculousness (Oh Heston, I love you, but you don't mess with my mince pies man!).

c) I can wear a Santa hat and only be thought marginally odd.

d) Advent calenders! This year The Lad even got one for the cat! The cat ate a couple of treats from today's window and then showed the last one his bum. We think this is a sign of affection.

e) I can feel smug that I made my Christmas pudding's nearly a month ago (Thank you Delia, you utter beauty)

f) People I'm phoning at work have started to panic about their Christmas wine stock, so they're buying loads off me.

Today was also great for a number of other reasons. I got my office Christmas party dress (it's very tight and only has one arm. I look exceptionally 80s. Am considering crimping my hair to add to the effect.) I have never been to a work party before, so I'm very very excited. There will be a bit of free booze and food, and I've been told also a spectacularly cheese tastic dj. I'm hoping it'll be a bit like the Office Christmas special and I'll be like the Ricky Gervais with my awesome old-man-at-a-wedding dancing.

Also, I got another voice acting job for tomorrow, a commercial for Monday and some paid wine tasting too! What brilliance! Then an amazing thing happened (something which truly made me believe my own hype about the 1st of December magic). I get really bad migraines quite often, no one can seem to tell me why, although suggested reasons seem to be my eyesight, the pill, my hormones, my back, my diet, my lack of exposure to the sun, working in front of a computer etc. When I get them, drugs don't seem to be able to touch them, and I just get gradually more and more nauseous until I'm able to sleep. And sometimes that doesn't even work. Today was a bit of a prime example of that, I went to bed last night with a slight headache, it was still there this morning, then it progressed throughout the day until it became a hideous raging monster of a migraine at about 6pm. I began to fret, thinking 'oh bollocks, I'll have to go home early, Lord I feel so so sick, what if I vom on my desk?' when I got a call through to a highly hilarious old man who kept trying to chat me up. Reader, at the beginning of the call I had my head in my arms on my desk, by the end I was crying with laughter! After a long conversation about his family background (his great uncle got sent to Australia for stealing a pair of women's shoes) and cheesy come-on lines ('where would you like your case delivered sir?' 'well if it's you delivering it, straight to the bedroom!' 'How old are you sir?' 'Far older than Pierce Brosnan but better looking!') I noticed my headache had vanished and I was able to carry on with the rest of the shift. Quite frankly Reader, I think it may have been Santa in disguise.

Hope you're enjoying the festive spirit as much as I am!