By Aislinn De'Ath

By Aislinn De'Ath
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Saturday, 21 January 2012

Last meal....

Reader, I was thinking today about what my last meal would be. You know, if I didn't have to limit myself by getting full or anything. I know, it's a bit morbid, but if I DID become a crazed serial killer in America and got caught and put on death row, and then got offered a last meal it would be the following:

Deep fried brie with cranberry sauce. Not just little measly bits, a big old wedge. And it has to be really hot, so hot the cheese is like liquid lava. Proper fish and chip shop style chips on the side to dip into the last drips of the melty cheese. And warm french bread with cold salted butter (which has to be one of the most delicious things in the whole world).

Next, I'd have home made veggie lasagne (with three kinds of cheese, mozzarella, cheddar and parmigiana). Obviously, overflowing with veggies like asparagus, spinach, artichoke, onion, black olives, chilli and garlic. My breath would have to stink after. So much so that the executioner would probably have to stand back a bit when they pushed the button, or the syringe, or...erm...ok, so I'm not great when it comes to semantics of execution, but still. 

Even though I'm a veggie, I'd have aromatic duck pancakes with all the trimmings (except for cucumber, no one wants that), I mean, it's my last meal right? Surely by not eating meat my whole life I'd have earned the right to eat one measly duck by then (apart from all the murders to warrant having to have a last meal of course). I'd also have salt and pepper aubergine and veggie noodles. And prawn crackers. There would be a bowl of rice (steamed, obvo) some veggie korma, tarka dahhl (is that even how you spell that) and something brilliantly spicy. An naan bread. Garlic. (More fun for the executioner).

There would also have to be a bowl of very buttery, peppery mashed potato. And maybe some pesto pasta (that tricalore stuff, I love multicoloured food). 

For pudding, it's all about a peanut butter and blueberry jam sundae. Or a 7 layer chocolate pudding cake from Insider Tart. Or a lemon tart, with ice cream. Or a really moist sticky toffee pudding, complete with dates and loads of syrup, with ice cream. Or Ben and Jerry's ice cream, with ice cream. Or a chocolate trolley. I'm pretty sure those exist. With ice cream. I would also have to have some fresh doughnuts, and blue candy floss.

Then some mint humbugs. Just so I don't burn the executioner's eyebrows.  Everything would be washed down with really cold diet coke. Or lucozade. Both with ice. 

I'm hungry. I'm going to go have a not last snack. With ice cream.

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