By Aislinn De'Ath

By Aislinn De'Ath
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Thursday 5 January 2012

Delusion, Day Nurse tablets and bounty bars...

Hello Reader!

Sorry for the radio silence this week, I forgot to put up links to my last blog entry on the usual sites (which is probably a good thing, since I then went back and added to it, so even if you've read it, go back, it's better than the bare bones it was before!) and then on my second day Oop North I came down with the most rotten, snotty, rank cold ever. In fact, today has been the first day since Monday that I've been able to do anything useful with myself! Which mainly involved going to work to get trained for a new account, selling posh veggies to posh people. Which is actually rather nice, because the company is all organic and free range, and really something I can believe in and be a bit passionate about. And they taught me loads of things. For example, did you know, if something's certified as being organic, it is also fairtrade and free range? I didn't till today! Not all organic things have the fairtrade logo because you have to pay for that, and apparently it's pretty pricey for the farmers. Also, pigs are one of the only animals not to have any laws attached to them for being free range. Which means people can shove them in nasty cages, they may never see daylight and live awful cramped lives, yet horrible marketers can still shove a smiley 'free range' happy pig sticker on the meat and it's not illegal! So always go for organic pork, because that DOES have very strict standards.

But I'm getting carried away! Oop North was lovely, even though I got sick. We got to hang out with The Lad's family, met his sister's new chihuahua Bruno (otherwise known as Brunolicious or Bruno-so-fabulous) who has an array of tiny coats and kept trying to make sweet sweet love to The Lad's leg. We had gorgeous dinners cooked for us, had traditional northern breakfast and went to a pub that did local beer. We even managed to go to the nearest big town and have a look at the sales (although I'm afraid by that stage I was a bit pathetic and had to keep sitting down because I was getting very weak and feverish). And then I left The Lad there for the rest of the week. Reader, it has not been fun being ill AND apart from The Lad. And The Lad being a boy, is crap at replying to texts. He'll text me once, I'll reply, he'll text again, I'll reply asking a question, and then it's like the moors swallowed him up. And being a paranoid nellie, I do assume he has had some terrible accident (probably involving a mining shaft, what with him being northern and all) and it's just that no one has thought to let me know in all the commotion. Of course, if that did happen, I'd have to make the decision whether I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who is both 5 hours away and stuck down a hole indefinitely. However, he is coming home tomorrow Reader, and I'm very very excited indeed. Mainly because I'll be able to sleep with the light off again (look, my room get's really bloody scary when there's not a slightly braver person to prod awake when I hear noises). Of course, after a few hours of him insisting on tickling me too hard and playing skyrim instead of paying me attention, I'll probably be trying to post him back through the postbox covered in second class stamps. But for the first 1.24 hours, it will be brilliant. 


Another exciting thing I did recently Reader, was go to the lovely Kate's birthday celebration. Which involved eating loads of brilliant food, dressing up in crazy costumes, and going to a Labyrinth themed masked ball and screening. Kate was resplendent in a Gothic version of Sarah's ballgown from the dream sequence, the baby of the group, Ro was manhandled into dressing as Toby (which was, by the way, the most popular costume by far), Sara was given an entirely eighties salmon dress to play the stepmother, the gorgeous Shush was dressed in the traditional Sarah outfit and I was, of course, the Goblin King. Complete with heavily stuffed crotch. It was slightly hindered by the fact that only Kate and myself had seen the film before, and the rest of the girls had to trust us dressing them up (they were suspicious till they'd seen the film!). After which we retired to Kate's and watched the Kate Middleton and Prince William movie (seriously dreadful but utterly hilarious, worth a watch!) and eventually fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning. It was, in short, fabulous.

Right Reader, it's late, I'm not entirely recovered from my bug yet and I have a small ginger cat yelling at my door, so it's time for me to off.
Tarrah!
Ash
x

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