By Aislinn De'Ath

By Aislinn De'Ath
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Friday, 1 July 2011

The day where the sun shone from my nether parts...

Reader, even though I was doing a 9 hour shift at work today, it was still a pretty good day. Why? I was having one of those rare and wonderful things: an attractive day. It crept up on me unexpectedly, it had started being a fat day, which never bodes well. I did a work out, which usually makes me look even worse *normally red and hobbling* and toddled off into work wearing a 3 year old £5 Primarni dress. When I got in I went to the bathrooms (which, since I work in an actor friendly organisation, have been fitted with full length mirrors, which usually makes me cover my eyes as I pee for modesty) and to my surprise I looked pretty ok. I'm not sure what prompted it, I wasn't even wearing structured underwear, which is usually required for an attractive day, but my boobs looked perky without being porno, my waist was positively waspish and my legs looked normal (even though I haven't shaved them for five days and they're roughly the shape as tree stumps at the moment). The hair (normally a bit limp and discoloured) looked wavy and bohemianly sunkissed and even my eyelash flicks were Audrey Hepburn perfect for once (I usually miss aim and end up with one enormous one going upward to my eyebrow and one tiny level one). It felt awesome. It gave me a wiggle in my step and people noticed, I was complimented by a good ten people! I haven't felt that good about the way I look since I was 17 and so skinny I could fit into a size 8 pair of Joseph trousers.

 Of course, I realise that this is not the permanent state of play. I'm only allowed days like that once every few years to keep my hopes up so I can survive the majority of the time looking like a meth addict with a hamburger addiction. Tomorrow my hair will be flyaway, my skin patchy and my belly like a pregnant woman's. The bags under my eyes will be purple and I'll choose completely the wrong outfit for the weather so I'll either sweat or go an unattractive goose-pimpled puce. I know this. Which is why it is so important to relish these few days I get of feeling like a sexy mama!

I think this is probably how most people feel to be honest. Although I have to wonder if Eva Green (my idol) has nothing BUT attractive days. I hope she's a bit more like me and has days where she worries about going out, because her knees just look too chunky and she's concerned someone might point out the bump in her nose.

To bed now, so tomorrow's dark circles don't turn black

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