In case you were wondering Reader, the title is an amusing pun on the fact that I am currently quite shapely and the fact that I now sell wine for a living. Ha. Ha. I am so very hysterical.
Well, I'm uncomfortable, you're uncomfortable, it's all very British. Moving swiftly on to making sense.
So as you may have guessed, I got through to probation for the telesales job. Only I'm not supposed to say that. I'm supposed to say that I'm a Wine Merchant. Who just so happens to do their work over the phone. It's at this call centre that's pretty much run by actors, with only actors working for them and is pretty much the perfect job an actor could have between acting work. It's flexible, it pays well, the people are lovely and the office has a lovely view. *le sigh*. The only issue is I've been put on an account selling wine. There are two issues with this Reader. Number one is that I don't like wine. However, as I learned today, this isn't really a problem. One of their top sellers doesn't drink booze and has actually never even tried the stuff! Also, I have discovered that although I'm not very good at drinking wine, I am rather skilled at tasting it. And picking out key flavours (like 'under ripe apple' and 'dog food'. I kid you not, that is what I detected in one). And they taught me how to do that grotesque slurping thing that wine tasters do which is VAST amounts of fun and makes me feel terribly well educated. So that's the first problem dealt with. The second problem is that it's selling. Now Reader, when it comes to actually working in a shop, I am like the queen of sales. I'm really smiley, I develop awesome rapport with the customer, I get them to buy add on items ('oohhh, you know, we have the PERFECT pendant to go with that dress, now, it wouldn't work for most people, but you have the décolletage to carry it off') etc. However, over the phone, I am a nervous wreck. Now obviously I only know this from my experience at the charity fundraising call centre, so maybe selling wine will be easier. Reader, I hope so. I really really like this company and it's a great one to keep the money coming in. I hope that even if I'm truly crap at selling, they'll put me on customer service instead! Fingers crossed for me eh? Day two of training tomorrow, I might even be put on the phones!
In other news...no, actually, I'm knackered, I smell and I need to brush my teeth because all that wine has turned them vaguely purple. So you'll just have to wait till next time Reader!