Thoughts thunk whilst packing...

Dear Reader, I am moving. And this means I have spent a LOT of time this week packing up all my belongings and eating bacon with my fingers out of despair. Here are some things that have crossed my fevered mind in this time



THOUGHTS THUNK WHILST PACKING

• I could just throw all my stuff away right? I mean, it's just STUFF. I don't need it-I could start a zen new life of not actually owning anything!
• WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FAIRY LIGHTS
• How many forks do I actually need for the next week?
• I haven't read this book!
• I forgot I had this book!
• Jesus, why do I have THAT book??
• I have too many books.
• What the fuck is that?
• IS IT MOVING?
• I think I may have packed myself into a corner...
• But WHY can't I take my bed with me? I love it so!
• I need a motivational soundtrack
• SOMEONE BRING ME BOOZE
• Maybe if I just lay down for five minutes...
• SHIT, have run out of plastic bags to wrap things with!
• Batman mask-storage or new bedroom? New bedroom. Obviously.
• I have so many half finished moisturisers
• Maybe I should combine them into one super moisturiser!
• No. Now is not the time for inventions. 
• Oh shit. What clothes do I need...
• Do I need clothes? Can I not just have a naked week?
• I feel Vicki may not be too delighted to have a naked housemate, even just for a week.
• WHAT IS LIFE EVEN?
• Stay cool De'Ath, stay cool.
• No but seriously, I'm going to throw away all of this stuff
• All I will keep is a white kaftan and some sandals, I'll be like a little ginger buddah
• I need to buy a white kaftan
• Although it does get a bit cold in the winter, so a jumper too
• And boots, for when it rains
• And...oh bugger it, I'll just bring it all 
• Is that a fake eyelash? 
• NO IT'S A FUCKING SPIDER OH MY FUCK KILL IT KILL IT
• Oh, no wait...just a broken make up brush
• I have so much hoovering to do
• I hate hoovering
• I THOUGHT I HAD PACKED ALL MY STUFF HOW IS THERE STILL MORE STUFF

And then somehow, after a day of packing crates into a van, moving a kingsize mattress on my own and using powertools-I managed to trap my finger in a car door. So I am now cleaning my empty flat with a bruised and bleeding pointer. This is what you call skilfully clumsy.

Well Reader, I'm off to try and rid my flat of the spider squatters who have decided to take over our contact before we've even left!

Ash

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Things that go through my head at 3.29am...

Reader, it is 3.29am and I am still awake. There are a number of reasons for this. I had a nap today that ended up being a bit too long, I drank too much diet coke too late, I ate too much cheese and now have heartburn, I'm excited about a script idea I had (and then wrote the full script for) and my brain won't shut up. So here is a list of all the things that have been going through my head tonight as I've lain in bed.



Things thunk.

• Maaaaan I shouldn't have eaten so much bad stuff today
• But all that cheese was tasty. And the giant yorkshire pudding filled with yumminess
• Although lunch alone was more calories than I should have in a day
• Why am I thinking about calories? I'll just have a green smoothie day tomorrow
• Maybe it's the green smoothies giving me heartburn
• Who do I think I'm kidding? It's the cheese. I wish it wasn't. Bloody Boursin. Being all delicious. 
• I wonder how I'd look blonde?
• I wonder how I'd look with blue hair?
• I should get blue hair
• Although that might slightly change my casting
• Let's be honest, I'm not badass enough to be a punk girl
• Quirky yes, punk, not so much
• Was that a spider?
• Nope, just a daddy long legs.
• Shit. That's annoying. STOP BASHING MY COMPUTER SCREEN.
• Who would I thank if I won a Bafta?
• Twelve people and counting
• I wish I could just wake up tomorrow with a driver's license 
• I've packed five boxes. Why does my room look messier?
• Why is there a spoon on my floor?
• Did I put it there for a reason?
• Is the spoon there to remind me of something? Like a knot in a hankie? 
• I wonder if anyone apart from Granddad Ian still uses actual hankies...
• I'm going to learn how to play the ukulele. 
• Crap, out of water AGAIN
• Can't get up, too cosy. Besides, hallways are where the shadow monsters live
• WHAT WAS THAT NOISE???
• Damn boyfriend....living on the other side of London...
• I really want some Millionaire's cheesecake
• No. No more dairy. Poor chest.
• Dairy is why I'm this curvy. I'm certain. My boobs are this big purely because of Wensleydale and Brie. 
• I need more boxes
• How the fuck am I going to get my bed out of the flat? I'll have to dismantle it before it goes to its temporary new home
• I COULD watch some more Dead Like Me on Netflix...Nah, save it for background noise tomorrow
• Is it autumn yet? 
• I'm going to miss all my stuff
• Need to apply for more work
• If I had more work I could rent the cutest little studio flat...
• Or a HOUSE if I lived in Yorkshire
• But then I'd have to live in Yorkshire. I'd miss the city too much.
• I bet my brother's awake
• Best not to call him though
• But I'm SO BORED.
• Fuck. Nearly 4am.
• Maybe I should try and sleep again.
• I could sleep in a hammock right now
• Mmmm....hammock....

And with THAT Reader, I feel able to try a doze....Goodnight! (or rather, good morning!)

Ash

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Nostalgic Nelly...

Reader, I have recently been watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch whilst I work and it's fabulous-the high jeans, the sporty crop tops, the random plaits in hair...it's like being magicked back to the late 90's/early 2000's. But coming back to a show I've watched has massively surprised me-there were some things that I definitely missed the first time round.

LESSONS LEARNT FROM SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH

• Sabrina is kind of a douche. She cheats on poor Harvey with two different guys, uses her magic to give her a massive advantage at school and then constantly complains about her life.
• Harvey is adorable but a bit of a doormat-he's always acting like it's ok that Sabrina treats him like he'll do till someone better comes along. Saying that, he's way sweeter than most boys I knew when I was a teenager! Kisses on the cheek, taking her out for dates-the girl got LUCKY!
• Buuuut she never 'got lucky'. For the first couple of seasons of Harvey and Sabrina dating, all they do is hold hands. Yes. Seriously. Aged 16 and hand holding is portrayed as practically scandalous.
• Vice Principle Kraft has a straaaange relationship with the bully, Libby. So flirtatious I'm pretty sure the Daily Mail would have a field day.
• The kids are all awfully thin given that they eat enormous trays of burgers and fries for lunch every day then go to the pizza place every evening  (were there no chubby kids in the 90's? Apparently not!')
• Her 'Spinster' aunts are ridiculously gorgeous and fun-and still can't get dates. Oh good.
• The show has THE BEST supporting cast. Turk from Scrubs is Sabrina's date for a whole season, Brain Cranston, Paula Abdul, Coolio, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys....every episode has a least one moment of whooping and pointing at the screen.
• Josh (the college boy she crushes on, and her boss at the coffee house) is DREAMY (and definitely much older than a college kid)
• There are constant jokes about how the actress who plays Hilda is Canadian (and very obviously so. More 'Oots' than you could shake a stick at)
• Prunes and prune juice are seen as PRIME HUMOUR.
• For a show that preaches being yourself, Sabrina is CONSTANTLY changing herself. Like-EVERY EPISODE.
• The Salem puppet is actually pretty amazing for its time
• Season 4 is ever so slightly heartbreaking-even if Sabrina did bring it on herself by kissing Josh when she was still with Harvey
• Sabrina is a big fan of twinsets. Matching tops and cardies ALL OVER THE PLACE.
• I still wish I had witchy powers!

Go back and watch it Reader, it's aged remarkably well!

Ash

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A list of wrongful purchases...

So Reader, sometimes I check my bank balance and swear to myself in very colourful language. Where does it all go? Surely I can't have spent all my monthly wage so fast? And then I remember all the rubbish I've spent my moolah on in the past and cringe inwardly. Gosh, I could buy a house with all the money I've spent on rubbish! So to prevent me from doing it again, here is a list of some of the really stupid things I've paid for in the past

THINGS I ACTUALLY SPENT MONEY ON

• When I was 18 I had done a few pole dancing classes, but my rehearsals rarely allowed for me to go to the advanced classes. So I decided that if I had my own pole I could practice from home! So I spent £50 on one from Anne Summers. The problem is, the pole wasn't really intended for someone to actually swing from it (I think it was a 'pole' in the same way a sexy nurse outfit is a 'uniform'). Years later, at a post show party, I put it up and tried to impress my new boyfriend and brought it down with me. Oh dear...
• I spent quite a lot when I was younger on a stretchy denim jumpsuit with multicoloured rhinestones. I was 15 to be fair, and it was for my 60's style birthday party, but even so...I sort of thought I was in Abba. And I thought I was bloody cool
• I paid what seems like an extortionate amount of money to get a 'Pob' (posh spice bob) when I was 13. Unfortunately it came out like Harry Potter, which was on the second film at that point. I also had NO CURVES and got mistaken for Daniel Radcliffe 5 times. Which isn't great for a teenage girl's confidence.
• I paid for a black henna tattoo from a dodgy bloke in Lyndos. It looked really cool. Until I realised I was allergic to it and had to go around with a pink, lumpy 'tribal tattoo' for a month afterwards
• Spice Girl photos that were made to look like actual pictures you'd taken. I tried to tell everyone at school that I knew them really well, but hadn't realised that everyone else had the same idea.
• A twenties style glass headpiece. I have never worn it, but still assert that I will one day (and to be fair, it was to make me feel better during a big break up)
• A pink, crocheted hankerchief top that my dad wouldn't let me wear out of the house
• Materials for a snorlax bean bag. Which came out looking demonic and ended up at the dump
• Nail pens. Total waste of money, every time.
• The Aqua singles 'Barbie Girl' and 'Dr. Jones' on cassette (YES, I REALISE I AM OLD, SHUT UP)
• Millions of wooden boxes of various shapes and sizes. I have an addiction.
• Not one, not two but THREE manicure sets for my friend Claire for various birthdays. I kept forgetting that I'd got them for her until, just before she opened the final one, she went 'haha, at least I can be sure it's not a bloody nail set!'. Awkward.
• Scented gel pens. No, scratch that, I bloody love scented gel pens. Do they still do them? I want some.
• My prom outfit. A corset, underskirt and over skirt that made me look like gothic Cinderella. Turned up at prom to realise that everyone else was wearing Jane Norman and I was totally overdressed. Rarely worn again (actually, the corset came in handy for costume socials at uni!)
• A tailcoat for a halloween costume, cost me a fortune and I have NO IDEA what I did with it

And there have been SO many more. Still, given that I recently got a Jessica Rabbit dress off amazon, I clearly haven't quite grown out of the habit of spending money on silly things just yet! And...well, it IS Christmas soon....

Tarrah Reader!

Ash

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A list of things that are pointless...

Reader, I am avoiding doing the hoovering. So here is a list of completely pointless things that aren't linked in any real way.

Penguins use rocks to keep their chicks warm
Swans mate for life
Chips are amazing with real ice cream milkshakes
Night terrors tend to be on recurring themes (mine are usually spider related)
The King and Tinker pub in Crew's Hill is apparently haunted by a dead landlord
If you put a lump of ice cream into a glass of lemonade you get ice cream floats, which taste like cream soda
Ginger female cats aren't supposed to exist (which may explain why my old one was so thick)
If you put marmite in spag boll it makes it taste meatier (handy for Quorn mince!)
You should make your Christmas pudding in October then feed it booze till mid December
Zooey Deschanel's signature drink in New Girl is grenadine, lemonade, cherries and coconut rum. Mine is grenadine, lemonade, cherries and vodka
If you want to go blond but don't want to destroy your hair, you should just keep lightening it using the pre-dye stuff
Get mini cheddars. Put a small square of cheese on top of each. Microwave. PURE HEAVEN.
I have a tattoo of a rose on my hip
Putting avacado in your fruit bowl will make your bananas ripen quicker
Best Christmas film in the world: It's A Wonderful Life. Hands down.
When my mum asked my nan if she had any regrets in life, she said ' I wish I'd done more for the donkeys'. Er...what donkeys? No one knows.
Everyone needs different amounts of water. Not 8 glasses a day. You're supposed to go by the colour of your pee.
I have the worst hoover in the world
If you're tired or have a light headache, pinch the harder tissue between the thumb and index finger, it will release adrenaline
Craftfail. Look it up. Hillarious.
Ditto PinterestYouAreDrunk
Geekily awesome tv shows to watch: Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse, Warehouse 13, Eureka, Adventuretime
Home made exfoliator, way better than buying it: brown sugar, olive oil, lemon or lime juice
If you lose your voice, don't eat dairy or citurus or vinegar, steam every hour, drink hot water, eat manuka honey factor 30+ from the jar, gargle with olive oil in an emergency, don't whisper as it damages your vocal cords even more

And now I have to hoover.
Grumble.
Ash
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Active rest...

Reader, you might have noticed that I've been writing rather a lot of late. This is due (mainly) to the fact that I seem to have completely lost the ability to fall asleep at a normal time, and when I do, I get awoken by nightmares so need something to do to wear me out. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN. I'm good at sleep! Like, really good at it! Usually I can fall asleep whenever and wherever. On trains at 2 pm, uncomfy plane seats at 7 am, cars full of loud music, sofas in living rooms full of people. I like sleep! And I am exceptionally tired at the moment because of the change in seasons. But my head bubbles over. Here is a list of things that my brain likes to think just as I turn out the light and lay down:

STUPID STUFF MY BRAIN THINKS AT 1AM

• Hey. Hey Ash. Hey Ash-never mind.
• Oh man, I lost the game!
• I should get more socks
• I'm going to start eating healthily tomorrow.
• Do we have enough soup in the house?
• Who am I kidding, there's always enough soup in the house. I'm a soup hoarder! Hah. Soup whore.
• Mmmm, mushroom soup. Where is all the mushroom soup? Why can I never get it fresh? It's the best of all the soups. The Lord of Soupiness.
• If I have a kid, I'll definitely call it Dauphinoise. Hah. Potato head. Or Gratina. Or Chippadee. Man I'm craving spuds. 
• OH SHITE WHAT WAS THAT NOISE
• Chill woman. Probably just pipes.
• Does anyone actually live in the flat next door? I never hear them if they do.
• Man, sleeping alone is pants. I need someone to spoon with. Maybe I should just make a pillow man? 
• This pillow man is creeping me out. What if he came to life?
• Ok. Sleeping with no pillows. Not so fun.
• ALIENS oh no, hang on, that's just the Sky box
• Are there any single men left in the world who I'll be attracted to? Will I ever fall in love again?
• ALLL BAAAAAYYYYY MAAAAHHHHSEEEEEELF
• Shape up woman. You don't need a man! Tomorrow morning, we will go jogging.
• Hah. 
• Yeah right. Tomorrow morning is going to be cold as ASS. We will stay in bed. Especially considering it's....aw crap, is it seriously that late?
• Candy crush will help me sleep
• Aw man, out of lives. 
• I will not ask my facebook friends. I do not need to play more of this inane game.
• Damn, I really want to though.
• No! No, I shall read more Cracked articles till I doze off. 
• No more zombie articles for me. 
• I should move my bed so that if there was a zombie 'pocalipse I'd be able to shunt it against my door
• Ooh I should move my room about
• I really need to get more acting work. 
• I know, I'll audition for the Star Wars film!
• Although they want someone who looks 18
• I could totally get away with being 18!
• Or could I. Hum. Maybe I'll just put on some of that anti aging gunk again.
• Did I brush my teeth yet? 
• No.
• Wait, Yes! I did! Because I laughed at the vampire style toothpaste drips!
• Man I'm cool.
• I could read my book
• Wait....bollocks, I'm reading an intellectual one at the mo. Sod that.
• Although it might make me sleep?
• Nah.
• Incense! 
• I'm going to write a novel!
• After I finish my feature.
• That's going to take sooooo long. Like, years. 
• Bleh.
• When's my next day off? Oh, not for weeks. Good. 
• Being freelance is hard. I should get a 9-5 job and give up on this acting malarkey
• HAH who am I kidding! I just need to get paid more at the acting malarkey!
• I could so do Star Wars. *makes light saber noises*
• Ow my eye.
• I have none of that coordination stuff
• Housemate is asleep, else I could move my room around now-would it wake her up?
• Ok, never mind, I'm pretty sure knocking that book off my bed just woke up the entire street
• Man I have a lot of stuff on my bed
• Then again, my bed is huge, there's room
• Especially given that there's only me in it, aw shame! Why do I always just bunch up in one corner of it? 
• Wow. Laying in the middle is WEIRD.
• Mmmm, Neil's yard wild rose balm
• IT'S IN MY EYES
• I have too many products on but DAYMN I smell good!
• Wait, did I take off my make up before I put all these products on? 
• Oh crap, I look like a pantomime dame
• Sod it. It'll deter murderers, they'll think I'm one of their own.
• Not that there are murderers in the house. Are there?
• Oh crap. The noise is back!
• I should put up more pictures tomorrow
• Need to order wellies for filming in December
• Need to get the rest of the Christmas pressies too
• HAHAHAHAH my godson's pressie is RIDICULOUS. Must remember to get him a birthday pressie too.
• Maybe a costume. Ok, what have we got him so far....the Darth Vader one was cool...maybe a Captain Kirk one to even out the playing field? I don't want him to feel forced into loving Star Wars....although it's clearly the best choice. I feel like he should be educated on both sides.
• Crap, my nails are a MESS! Must remember to do them before I go tomorrow
• I should go on a holiday by myself. To New York! 
• I have no money. 
• How do I get blogging to get me money?
• I should get people to pay me to write about stuff. Like...erm...boobs. And Books!
• Oooh I could write a blog called Lasciviousness and literature! Or a vlog. Although given that name, it would probably have to be me nekkid doing book reviews. Little brother would be so horrified!
• Now I REALLY want to do that!
• Where's dad's camera? 
• Will dad let me steal the camera?
• Man I wish I could edit like Anna Akana and Katers17!
• Didn't I learn how to do that in media studies at A-Level?
• Man I wish I'd paid attention!

And it goes on and on until all of a sudden I wake up and BOOM it's daytime and I have suitcases under my eyes!

Ah well, let's give it another try eh?

Night night Reader!

Ash 

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Waitin' and wishin' and hopin' and dreamin'

Reader, one of the worst bits about being an actor is waiting to hear back from auditions you really, really want. It's an entirely aggravating process, through which you constantly think you hear your phone going off (it didn't), you get nervous if you're five minutes away from your emails and whenever anyone calls you that isn't an unknown number, you're instantly 'busy'. Then, when an unknown number does call and it's not the casting people, you get unaccountably pissed off with the poor sod on the other end of the phone. How DARE they not be people telling you that you're hired!

You may have guessed, Reader, that I am currently in that situation. I know I'm down to the last two for a part that I really really want, and I know that they're auditioning the other girl again today. So after about 3pm I shall most likely be a nervous wreck. I'm already keeping my phone in my bra (in case the girl doesn't show or has chopped off all her hair so they decide to just give me the part) and am already showing signs of a nervous breakdown. The thing is, if I hadn't known it was just between me and one girl, I think I'd be less worried. If there were a sea of nameless actors I was up against, I'd think 'well, it's like playing the lottery, no point getting nervous' but now it's more like a gameshow or something. I'm having to distract myself by doing lots of other things. Here is my list of things to do whilst trying to get the audition off my mind:

• Bake cookies (have made three trays so far)
• Go to a Rosemary Connelly class (ignoring cookies on side)
• Aerobics class with much older women who are much fitter than me
• Tea at Grandparents (hide phone, they might think I'm being rude)
• Take cat to vet to get his lump prodded (the scratches might distract me)
• Remove make up, then re-apply
• Eat The Lad's birthday chocolate, turn the Rosemary Connelly booklet upside down because it's making me feel guilty
• Paint nails
• Realise nail varnish is gone all gloopy and hurry to take it off, spilling it on white duvet
• Read Tolstoy
• Stop reading Tolstoy and pick up copy of Cosmopolitan instead
• Stop reading Cosmo and pick up copy of Heat instead
• Stop reading Heat and pick up copy of Thomas the Tank engine instead
• Stroke cat
• Tend to scratches
• Check online to see if the casting director's been really obvious and has written any hints on her facebook
• Wonder if adding casting director as a friend on facebook is too bum-lickey
• Make a chart of x-factor predictions
• Book a train ticket to see friend on other side of England
• Consider quitting acting to become a teacher 
• Consider cutting hair
• Decide not to cut hair
• Decide to cut hair if I don't get the part
• Go slowly but surely mad

The end!

Ash

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Feminine as a feline

Reader, today I went to see a film called 'Bridesmaids'. It was so fantastic. Like The Hangover, only more girl centric. The actresses in it were all in their thirties and forties (which made it a far better film than it would have been with a cast of picture perfect 20 year olds), it was crude, unashamed, naughty and completely hysterical. I would quite happily watch it again today in fact, which I can't say about most films. Me and the mother cackled so hard that at one point we were afraid we'd get kicked out.

One thing that it really made me think about was femininity. The concept of femininity has changed so much over the course of just a few decades that it's unclear what constitutes being feminine any more. In the film, we experienced a group of fantastic characters, who were bawdy, filthy and (for want of a better word) blokey, but I for one could see a lot of parallels between them and my group of friends and I. Like them, we get drunk on really quite atrocious brands of alcohol, swear like troopers and make tasteless jokes about blow jobs. But I would still say that we have our feminine qualities. In fact, I am quite proud of my feminine side and like to indulge it whenever I can. There's definitely an interesting oxymoron there. Whilst I encourage my girly side in all it's forms, I also would be furious should someone tell me that just because I'm a girl I shouldn't be loud, make dirty jokes and knock back Sambuca like a seasoned pro. I don't really mind though. The truth of it is that I am not completely feminine. I think anyone who is entirely must be quite boring, I'm quite sure I've never met any woman or girl who doesn't have at least one unladylike trait.

Maybe then we can make a 'new femininity'. A list of the rules to be feminine but without losing our sense of fun? I suppose it's different for everyone, but here's the beginning to my personal list:

1. Always wear nice underwear. Matching or at least similar colours. Never buy underwear simply because it's convenient and comfy (this of course is excepting nude undies and spanx), always think that someone may see them soon.
2. Wear beautiful perfume. Never pay less than £30 for it, cheap perfume goes funny very quickly. (I earn practically nothing and live by this, good perfume lasts at least a year so there's no excuse)
3. Read fantastic books. Femininity shouldn't mean bimboism. Some of the most feminine but striking and memorable women I have ever met have been huge fans of Tolstoy, Dickens and Joyce. 
4. Have at least one perfect red lipstick. It should be matte, not shiny and without glitter. It may not be used every day but the option should always be there.
5. Have at least one heroine to compare yourself to. Never tell anyone who that is, it's yours for personal reference. Do not copy this heroine, be uniquely yourself, but in times of trouble, embrace a little of their spirit, because a little spirit goes a long way.
6. Know how to do DIY. Never rely on a man to hang a picture for you. Unless you have no arms.
7. Swear, but do it with class, not every other word. By all means, say the C word if you want, but make it count when you do. 
8. Never allow a man (or indeed another woman) to strike you in anger. Play fighting and abuse are different. A truly brave woman is a woman who knows when to walk away.
9. Sex is not currency. It is a wonderful experience that should be enjoyed by both parties and should never be given if not meant. Have as much of it as you like but be discrete, safe and as soon as it stops being fun, stop doing it.
10. Although #8 is so so true-very rarely in life there comes a time when one truly sensational slap is needed. If someone gropes you, mistreats you in a heinous fashion or reduces one of your nearest and dearest to tears, a single slap may be in order. BE WARNED. This is rarely the case and should not be handed out willy nilly. Violence is not attractive. I have only ever had this twice in my life. Both were very dramatic moments. After a slap, simply turn and walk away. Don't turn it into a punch up.
11. Know when to say sorry. Especially if you've done number 10 when it wasn't deserved.
12. Support your friends at all times, even when they're acting in a ridiculous manner (support whilst giving great advice in that instance)
13. Spend as much time with people you love as possible.
14. Have at least one great dinner party recipe up your sleeve that you can make in less than an hour. This has been known to win people jobs, entice proposals and in my case, earn money.
15. Be a great listener. You'll gain huge amounts of knowledge and when the time comes, the people you listen to will listen to you.
16. Know what your beliefs are and be able to defend other peoples against bigotry.
17. Take advice from glamorous older women, they are wise and know all the best secrets.
18. Dry shampoo is a short term solution. Not a way of life.
19. Say thank you with grace. Say fuck you with conviction.
20. Never wear trainers with a suit. Even if it's really comfy. Just don't.

I could go on forever. I'm sure not everyone will agree with the list, but then to be honest, everyone should have their own individual ones! Men included. I would love to hear some of your own lists, men can do the 'new masculinity' ones if they like! I know my father's would include having a record collection and a great supply of black socks...

That's all for now Reader, 

Tarrah!

Ash

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