Reader, you might have noticed that I've been writing rather a lot of late. This is due (mainly) to the fact that I seem to have completely lost the ability to fall asleep at a normal time, and when I do, I get awoken by nightmares so need something to do to wear me out. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN. I'm good at sleep! Like, really good at it! Usually I can fall asleep whenever and wherever. On trains at 2 pm, uncomfy plane seats at 7 am, cars full of loud music, sofas in living rooms full of people. I like sleep! And I am exceptionally tired at the moment because of the change in seasons. But my head bubbles over. Here is a list of things that my brain likes to think just as I turn out the light and lay down:
STUPID STUFF MY BRAIN THINKS AT 1AM
- Hey. Hey Ash. Hey Ash-never mind.
- Oh man, I lost the game!
- I should get more socks
- I'm going to start eating healthily tomorrow.
- Do we have enough soup in the house?
- Who am I kidding, there's always enough soup in the house. I'm a soup hoarder! Hah. Soup whore.
- Mmmm, mushroom soup. Where is all the mushroom soup? Why can I never get it fresh? It's the best of all the soups. The Lord of Soupiness.
- If I have a kid, I'll definitely call it Dauphinoise. Hah. Potato head. Or Gratina. Or Chippadee. Man I'm craving spuds.
- OH SHITE WHAT WAS THAT NOISE
- Chill woman. Probably just pipes.
- Does anyone actually live in the flat next door? I never hear them if they do.
- Man, sleeping alone is pants. I need someone to spoon with. Maybe I should just make a pillow man?
- This pillow man is creeping me out. What if he came to life?
- Ok. Sleeping with no pillows. Not so fun.
- ALIENS oh no, hang on, that's just the Sky box
- Are there any single men left in the world who I'll be attracted to? Will I ever fall in love again?
- ALLL BAAAAAYYYYY MAAAAHHHHSEEEEEELF
- Shape up woman. You don't need a man! Tomorrow morning, we will go jogging.
- Hah.
- Yeah right. Tomorrow morning is going to be cold as ASS. We will stay in bed. Especially considering it's....aw crap, is it seriously that late?
- Candy crush will help me sleep
- Aw man, out of lives.
- I will not ask my facebook friends. I do not need to play more of this inane game.
- Damn, I really want to though.
- No! No, I shall read more Cracked articles till I doze off.
- No more zombie articles for me.
- I should move my bed so that if there was a zombie 'pocalipse I'd be able to shunt it against my door
- Ooh I should move my room about
- I really need to get more acting work.
- I know, I'll audition for the Star Wars film!
- Although they want someone who looks 18
- I could totally get away with being 18!
- Or could I. Hum. Maybe I'll just put on some of that anti aging gunk again.
- Did I brush my teeth yet?
- No.
- Wait, Yes! I did! Because I laughed at the vampire style toothpaste drips!
- Man I'm cool.
- I could read my book
- Wait....bollocks, I'm reading an intellectual one at the mo. Sod that.
- Although it might make me sleep?
- Nah.
- Incense!
- I'm going to write a novel!
- After I finish my feature.
- That's going to take sooooo long. Like, years.
- Bleh.
- When's my next day off? Oh, not for weeks. Good.
- Being freelance is hard. I should get a 9-5 job and give up on this acting malarkey
- HAH who am I kidding! I just need to get paid more at the acting malarkey!
- I could so do Star Wars. *makes light saber noises*
- Ow my eye.
- I have none of that coordination stuff
- Housemate is asleep, else I could move my room around now-would it wake her up?
- Ok, never mind, I'm pretty sure knocking that book off my bed just woke up the entire street
- Man I have a lot of stuff on my bed
- Then again, my bed is huge, there's room
- Especially given that there's only me in it, aw shame! Why do I always just bunch up in one corner of it?
- Wow. Laying in the middle is WEIRD.
- Mmmm, Neil's yard wild rose balm
- IT'S IN MY EYES
- I have too many products on but DAYMN I smell good!
- Wait, did I take off my make up before I put all these products on?
- Oh crap, I look like a pantomime dame
- Sod it. It'll deter murderers, they'll think I'm one of their own.
- Not that there are murderers in the house. Are there?
- Oh crap. The noise is back!
- I should put up more pictures tomorrow
- Need to order wellies for filming in December
- Need to get the rest of the Christmas pressies too
- HAHAHAHAH my godson's pressie is RIDICULOUS. Must remember to get him a birthday pressie too.
- Maybe a costume. Ok, what have we got him so far....the Darth Vader one was cool...maybe a Captain Kirk one to even out the playing field? I don't want him to feel forced into loving Star Wars....although it's clearly the best choice. I feel like he should be educated on both sides.
- Crap, my nails are a MESS! Must remember to do them before I go tomorrow
- I should go on a holiday by myself. To New York!
- I have no money.
- How do I get blogging to get me money?
- I should get people to pay me to write about stuff. Like...erm...boobs. And Books!
- Oooh I could write a blog called Lasciviousness and literature! Or a vlog. Although given that name, it would probably have to be me nekkid doing book reviews. Little brother would be so horrified!
- Now I REALLY want to do that!
- Where's dad's camera?
- Will dad let me steal the camera?
- Man I wish I could edit like Anna Akana and Katers17!
- Didn't I learn how to do that in media studies at A-Level?
- Man I wish I'd paid attention!
And it goes on and on until all of a sudden I wake up and BOOM it's daytime and I have suitcases under my eyes!
Ah well, let's give it another try eh?
Night night Reader!
Ash
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