Active rest...

Reader, you might have noticed that I've been writing rather a lot of late. This is due (mainly) to the fact that I seem to have completely lost the ability to fall asleep at a normal time, and when I do, I get awoken by nightmares so need something to do to wear me out. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN. I'm good at sleep! Like, really good at it! Usually I can fall asleep whenever and wherever. On trains at 2 pm, uncomfy plane seats at 7 am, cars full of loud music, sofas in living rooms full of people. I like sleep! And I am exceptionally tired at the moment because of the change in seasons. But my head bubbles over. Here is a list of things that my brain likes to think just as I turn out the light and lay down:

STUPID STUFF MY BRAIN THINKS AT 1AM

• Hey. Hey Ash. Hey Ash-never mind.
• Oh man, I lost the game!
• I should get more socks
• I'm going to start eating healthily tomorrow.
• Do we have enough soup in the house?
• Who am I kidding, there's always enough soup in the house. I'm a soup hoarder! Hah. Soup whore.
• Mmmm, mushroom soup. Where is all the mushroom soup? Why can I never get it fresh? It's the best of all the soups. The Lord of Soupiness.
• If I have a kid, I'll definitely call it Dauphinoise. Hah. Potato head. Or Gratina. Or Chippadee. Man I'm craving spuds. 
• OH SHITE WHAT WAS THAT NOISE
• Chill woman. Probably just pipes.
• Does anyone actually live in the flat next door? I never hear them if they do.
• Man, sleeping alone is pants. I need someone to spoon with. Maybe I should just make a pillow man? 
• This pillow man is creeping me out. What if he came to life?
• Ok. Sleeping with no pillows. Not so fun.
• ALIENS oh no, hang on, that's just the Sky box
• Are there any single men left in the world who I'll be attracted to? Will I ever fall in love again?
• ALLL BAAAAAYYYYY MAAAAHHHHSEEEEEELF
• Shape up woman. You don't need a man! Tomorrow morning, we will go jogging.
• Hah. 
• Yeah right. Tomorrow morning is going to be cold as ASS. We will stay in bed. Especially considering it's....aw crap, is it seriously that late?
• Candy crush will help me sleep
• Aw man, out of lives. 
• I will not ask my facebook friends. I do not need to play more of this inane game.
• Damn, I really want to though.
• No! No, I shall read more Cracked articles till I doze off. 
• No more zombie articles for me. 
• I should move my bed so that if there was a zombie 'pocalipse I'd be able to shunt it against my door
• Ooh I should move my room about
• I really need to get more acting work. 
• I know, I'll audition for the Star Wars film!
• Although they want someone who looks 18
• I could totally get away with being 18!
• Or could I. Hum. Maybe I'll just put on some of that anti aging gunk again.
• Did I brush my teeth yet? 
• No.
• Wait, Yes! I did! Because I laughed at the vampire style toothpaste drips!
• Man I'm cool.
• I could read my book
• Wait....bollocks, I'm reading an intellectual one at the mo. Sod that.
• Although it might make me sleep?
• Nah.
• Incense! 
• I'm going to write a novel!
• After I finish my feature.
• That's going to take sooooo long. Like, years. 
• Bleh.
• When's my next day off? Oh, not for weeks. Good. 
• Being freelance is hard. I should get a 9-5 job and give up on this acting malarkey
• HAH who am I kidding! I just need to get paid more at the acting malarkey!
• I could so do Star Wars. *makes light saber noises*
• Ow my eye.
• I have none of that coordination stuff
• Housemate is asleep, else I could move my room around now-would it wake her up?
• Ok, never mind, I'm pretty sure knocking that book off my bed just woke up the entire street
• Man I have a lot of stuff on my bed
• Then again, my bed is huge, there's room
• Especially given that there's only me in it, aw shame! Why do I always just bunch up in one corner of it? 
• Wow. Laying in the middle is WEIRD.
• Mmmm, Neil's yard wild rose balm
• IT'S IN MY EYES
• I have too many products on but DAYMN I smell good!
• Wait, did I take off my make up before I put all these products on? 
• Oh crap, I look like a pantomime dame
• Sod it. It'll deter murderers, they'll think I'm one of their own.
• Not that there are murderers in the house. Are there?
• Oh crap. The noise is back!
• I should put up more pictures tomorrow
• Need to order wellies for filming in December
• Need to get the rest of the Christmas pressies too
• HAHAHAHAH my godson's pressie is RIDICULOUS. Must remember to get him a birthday pressie too.
• Maybe a costume. Ok, what have we got him so far....the Darth Vader one was cool...maybe a Captain Kirk one to even out the playing field? I don't want him to feel forced into loving Star Wars....although it's clearly the best choice. I feel like he should be educated on both sides.
• Crap, my nails are a MESS! Must remember to do them before I go tomorrow
• I should go on a holiday by myself. To New York! 
• I have no money. 
• How do I get blogging to get me money?
• I should get people to pay me to write about stuff. Like...erm...boobs. And Books!
• Oooh I could write a blog called Lasciviousness and literature! Or a vlog. Although given that name, it would probably have to be me nekkid doing book reviews. Little brother would be so horrified!
• Now I REALLY want to do that!
• Where's dad's camera? 
• Will dad let me steal the camera?
• Man I wish I could edit like Anna Akana and Katers17!
• Didn't I learn how to do that in media studies at A-Level?
• Man I wish I'd paid attention!

And it goes on and on until all of a sudden I wake up and BOOM it's daytime and I have suitcases under my eyes!

Ah well, let's give it another try eh?

Night night Reader!

Ash 

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Half-girl-half-mattress...

Reader, I am EXHAUSTED. In the past 3 nights, I have slept in three different beds, in three different parts of England. I have taken 4 trains, made 3 underground trips, one car ride and 4 taxi rides. I have been visited by a toddler, who I didn't get to see, but did hear having a loud chat with the air at 2 in the morning, was awakened by a man in his pants, horrified an old lady into switching seats, attended a hen do, went to a wedding, fell in love with a kitten and went shoe shopping with The Lad. I'm pretty sure my limbs have all gone on strike, I have suitcases under my eyes and I've found confetti in places confetti just shouldn't be.

It was a jolly good weekend.

The hen party was that of my old uni sister from another mister (and housemate of 3 years) Jague. Now, I haven't seen Jague much since we left uni. She's been becoming a teacher, I've been at drama school and working and I'm hopeless at organising anything, so only get to see her very rarely, but dear god I love that girl. She introduced me to some of my favourite musicals, helped me through some hard times and brought me fags and chocolate when I was poor and sad. Utter hero of a woman (and gorgeous with it too). The hen party was fab (although the vast majority of the hens were hungover from a pre-hen do the night before-I don't know how they coped with the early afternoon cocktails!) and I got to meet lots of Jague's friends who I'd heard many tales of, plus see some of my old uni friends who I haven't seen in an age (including Jeffers, who has the most rock and roll life of anyone I know, Crouchey who shares my love of trash tv, and Hannah, who is essentially my more grown up twin and who my mother wants to adopt-Hannah is pretty open to the idea too), went on an old fashioned carousel with the entire hen party, discovered lime daiquiri is the best thing since pina colada (which I also had, yum!), ate so much tapas (served by a fabulously sexy lady called Lolita) that I nearly burst, and then boogied the night away in the head bridesmaid 's living room, surrounded by pictures of willies and lots of cake (I made tiny wedding cakes with pink sparkly icing and jam fillings! Next time I think I may do the same but with lemon curd filling and a lemon cream topping...mmm). The next morning it was off to a beach-side cafe, where sadly I had to leave before the food arrived (it smelt AMAZING) to catch my train, but the weather was fab and the girls looked set for a great day on the beach!

After three hours on the train, I arrived in gorgeous Surrey, all dolled up in a fifties dress, heels and toting my suitcase and cake tin. The wedding was a) the first I've ever been to of my friendship group and b) the first me and The Lad have ever gone to together. Reader, I cried like a baby. The bride (an old director and friend of mine) was so stunning that the groom did a double take when she reached the front. There were wildflowers and candles and the sun even came out for the day! The grounds of this place were gorgeous too, we spent a lot of time wandering around and talking about what our wedding will be like (when we get round to it) and who we'd have as our bridesmaids and groomsmen (for the record...our wedding is going to be friggin amazeballs). The food was amazing too, and The Lad and I got to sit on a table with a couple of the boys I did my play in Camden with a few years ago, and who I'll be working with again over the winter months on a new exciting play, and we had great fun over the delicious dinner and wine. And I got talking to a very cool vegan girl who gave me lots of great recipe ideas! After that we had to dash away for our train. On which I kept falling asleep (SO tired). I'm still pretty exhausted now actually, but have been in bed for most of the afternoon, so hopefully tomorrow I'll be fighting fit!

Ooh, and I mentioned the kitten didn't I? This morning we were awakened by a strange noise, so The Lad went to investigate then came down, shoved his dressing gown at me and went 'YOU NEED TO GO UPSTAIRS' so I did (looking rather a state), and met the cutest, tiniest three week old kitten ever. She was abandoned in a garden by her mother and The Lad's housemate (a veterinary nurse) had brought her home since the surgery was closed for the day. It was love at first sight. Am trying to talk the parents into adopting her but am having very little luck. She kept crawling under my chin and falling asleep. Too damn cute for words.

Right, I'm off to collapse now, and dream of kittens and weddings
Night Reader!
Ash
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Dreams, dozing and drowse...

Reader, I can't stop sleeping. I think there's probably something wrong with me, like the beginning of a cold or vertigo, since I feel all flushed and dizzy too, but today I had a 4 hour nap. After an 11 hour sleep last night. And a 2 hour nap yesterday, with a similar night's sleep the night before. It's just plain weird frankly. I'm doing what my body is telling me to do (i.e. hugging my pillow and nodding off at 2pm and knocking back vitamins like smarties) but something is definitely amiss. I'm not even that hungry, which, as I'm sure you'll have guessed from my previous blogs, is just freaky.

It might also be because we did the opening weekend of the show last weekend, and my body is finally allowing me to unwind from all the tension and nerves. It has a profound ability to shrug off all illness when I'm busy, only to bring everything crashing down on my head the second I stop. Maybe I'll have some lucozade, curer of all ills! And yes, the opening weekend went well. First night we were all so stricken by nerves it was mainly just a relief to get it over with, but the second night went so well we got that glowy feeling in our tummies akin to good mashed potato and sausages, an act of profound charity or really fabulous sex. In fact, we all stayed hyper till 3am, chattering nonstop over a brilliant dinner whipped up by our resident genius chef Helen and generally being flabbergasted at how the rehearsal process had flown by.

Maybe I have rehearsal withdrawal. Is that even a thing? Will I end up getting really psychotic and making my cat act out scenes with me? I'm not sure he'd approve...

Right, I'm off to eat quorn spaghetti and balls, drink some milk (health food!) and watch Despicable Me. And then I'll probably sleep for 100 more hours. I'm like sleeping beauty! Only instead of being pretty, I look all pale and twitchy. Nice.
Ash
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