Here they are!
Disney Lessons I probably shouldn't have learnt
- All pretty girls can sing. All of them. And they do. About everything.
- No one ever does a poo, unless it's an animal about to do one on a villain
- Even peasants wear really well fitting clothes
- Heroes and pretty girls are always thin
- Fairy godmothers totally exist and they're always over 60 and portly
- Vegetables can be used as a mode of transport
- Reading makes you special (well, duh)
- Poor people meet royalty all the fricken time, just casually
- Loads of people that can sing beautifully don't use it professionally because they just want to get married
- People's dad's die. CONSTANTLY. And no one has a mum. But step parents live forever.
- Animals are your friends. Especially wild ones.
- Ditto midgets.
- Elderly women who live alone are witches
- No one lives in a city. Lots of people live in a palace in the countryside
- Bread is just about the tastiest meal anyone can have
- Exotic pets are totally normal
- Everyone has perfect teeth. Even if they live in a cave.
- Anyone can survive certain death. Even baddies
- Trees are perfectly cosy places to live
- Cakes look like they're made of yogurt and when they're knocked, they slop from side to side
- Girls never have to make the first move
- Dancing is the best chat up line
- Balls happen on everyone's 16th birthday
- Crabs are friendly
- Voodoo is AWESOME and creates green smoke
- It's always beautifully sunny during the day and clear and starry at night
- Wishing on starts totally works
- Having tiny feet gets you places
- No one is at all clumsy. Ever. Unless they're bad or sidekicks. Or crabs.
That's all for now Reader!
Ash
x
