Mornings where you wake up all Disney...

Reader, I am having one of those mornings where I've woken up with a smile on my face. I have one really swollen eye (I don't know why but it's really sore and I look a bit like Igor) but I still feel like Ariel when she wakes up in that plush bed in Eric's castle (only I've woken up in Primark sheets and a bed covered with unpacked clothes rather than royal crests and velvet) and she does a cute yawn and bounds around like a Labrador puppy.

There may well be a few reasons for this: I've just had a stellar week that started with a lovely weekend of socialising and relaxing with the Partner In Crime and was then followed by us being guest lecturers at Falmouth University, working with passionate industry experts and inspiring students. It's also gloriously sunny this morning and I awoke to birdsong, which always puts a huge smile on my face-it feels like summer is finally starting to wake up again and I for one could not be more ready for it. What else? Well it's my birthday next week and I am terrifically excited-I'm planning to take the day itself off and sleep in and wear PJs all day (UTTER BLISS) and PIC has planned all sorts of surprises for me which no one has really managed to do before. Also my dress for the day we're going out has just arrived and it is slightly too big despite a week of terrible eating (WIN) but is also gorgeous and perfectly coloured. Tonight I'm taking my gorgeous mum to the theatre to see 'Women on The Verge of a Nervous Breakdown' for her birthday, and we always have a fabulous time when we go out! I think I also had nice dreams, because I woke up with that 'lovely sugar plums and dancing beans happened last night' feeling. I think it was something to do with the future and how delightful it's going to be, because I also had that zen, blissed sense that everything in life was going to be wonderful and sparkly.

So if you see someone with a really swollen Igor eye skipping through London singing to themselves, don't be afraid-hyperactive mutants aren't taking over the city-it's just me getting on with my day.

Hope yours is just as cheery Reader!
Ash
x

Positive thinking and dream mapping for the cynical generation

Right, so as anyone from my year at drama school will tell you, positive thinking is key. We even had a lesson in which a woman who trained in positive thinking came to tell us how important positive thinking is. Now, Reader, I subscribe heavily to the whole 'think happy=be happy' philosophy. I read The Secret, I watched Oprah! I even do visualisation exercises sometimes. I am generally an irritatingly happy shiny person. I have very little concept of sarcasm and when I try to use it, it's hardly biting satire, more grumpy 12 year old saying 'well, duh!' But let's face it Reader, in this age of grumpy celebs selling sob stories, po faced newsreaders and pouting being sexy, positivity is frankly unfashionable. I tried to start a trend for it, which seemed to fail abysmally. There's also a thing with actors, if you say 'yeah everything's AMAZING, I frickin' love life and I wouldn't change a thing' other actors hate you. Literally want to tear out your eyeballs and shove salt in the sockets. It's far more acceptable to go 'well, life isn't too bad, but then it's not great. I mean I'm not getting the auditions I want, my agent's a shit and I might as well give up and become a librarian'.

I think I'll stick to being unfashionably cheery. I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer of late (yes, I am a huge geek), and think, hey, if Willow can do it, I can! Now, one of the things I've learnt from all of the positive thinking stuff is that you should make a 'Universal wishlist'. It's a list of all the things you want to happen, and it makes the universe sit up and go 'hey now, that's a great idea! Well sure, if you want I'll just fix that up for you under the grill.You want fries with that?'

So, in the interests of positive thinking, here is one of mine (yes Reader, I have many)

1. I get picked up by my perfect agent. They finally get to my email and letter and go 'hey, you know what? That girl with her slightly angular nose and freckled forehead is EXACTLY what we need! Let's take her on and make her insanely A list!'
2. They pass on my details to the following directors: Everyone who is talented.
3. This very blog gets picked up and made into a column (well, one can dream) and possibly a film starring Zooey Deschanel doing a really really bad English accent (n.b she may have to put on some weight and lose the fringe. Potentially also wear a prosthetic nose.) 
4. Talented directors get in touch and audition me for many many projects, which I then get to pick and choose
5. I get cast in screen, stage and radio. All varied and rewarding roles that I can really get my teeth into. I get paid absolute buckets (obvo)
6. With the money I buy a lovely house for me and the lad, with a garden, a 50s style kitchen (with a red smeg fridge because we once saw one in a magazine and now we're obsessed!) and period features. I pay off my parents' mortgage and get them the villa in Majorca they've always dreamed of. I set up a trust fund for my brother, invest in my Mum's business, build a rehearsal/performance space back in Kent for my old Drama Soc and buy my Irish grandparents a house that's not in the dodgy end of Tottenham, a personal chauffeur and a woman to clean the house and cook occasionally. 
7. I keep getting work. Good work, not just poo things that I only do to be able to survive and keep myself in diet coke.
8. Mine and The Lad's relationship continues to flourish and be lovely. 
9. We travel to exotic places all the time, drink cocktails out of coconuts on beaches and generally live the life of Reilly. 
10. Mum's business BOOMS and she is on the cover of The Sunday Times magazine she's so fab. Dad wins loads of great contracts for work and is names 'Housing person of the year' (for lack of the correct/real terminology), Brother gets a first and a brilliant job in Criminology (with a sideline in drawing comics). The Lad works as a primary school teacher but also opens up a comic book store/cafe with performance space for our comedian friends and quiz nights.
11. I win a Bafta, Oscar, Tony, Mobo (shut up this is MY wishlist and I get to ask for whatever the hell I want!)
12. I am a size 8 with perfect teeth and hair. I am remarkably slim but in some miraculous way do not lose my boobs nor need plastic surgery or diets. 
13. I get cast as Hedda Gabler in a film version of the Ibsen play.
14. I win more awards.
15. Dad starts presenting a TV show about scuba diving and fishing (his two favourite things ever) which gets similar viewing figures to Top Gear. The public enjoy his combination of dad jokes and punk attitude. Mum writes a book which is seen as being the best feminist fiction to be published since Fay Weldon.
16. My family, friends and I are so happy and healthy that we're actually quite sickening, but this is obviously not picked up on by the media or public, who simply adore us.
17. World peace (just so I don't sound too materialistic...)

Right, so now that's all sorted, I shall expect to start having it all appear in my lap shortly. I'll just wait here watching Buffy till it does.
Will keep you updated Reader!
Ash
x