By Aislinn De'Ath

By Aislinn De'Ath
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Sunday, 4 March 2012

Growing pains...

Reader, today is my birthday. I have been spoilt within an inch of my life, fed more cheese than the average French person sees in a lifetime and surrounded by glorious pressies. Tonight, I will be feasting on Dominos pizza, whilst watching 30 Rock and going through my facebook messages in what can only be described as an act of delicious vanity. Life is rather marvellous right now.

I was struck the other night  (whilst packing Baklava into my cheeks like a sweet toothed hamster) that the way I celebrate my birthday has changed rather a lot since I was in my late teens. I can only assume I've grown up somehow (meaning the man in the market lied and these magic beans don't hold back the years like he said they would...), a scary thought indeed. So, here is my list of what's changed and what hasn't between how I partied then and how I party now...

1. I no longer find it entirely necessary to compete with sports society boys in alcohol intake. In fact, I'm quite happy with one glass of amaretto on my birthday, because at least then I know I won't a) do anything hideously cringe like vomit over the bouncers or proposition the cardboard cut out of Zac Effron in the Blockbusters window or b) have an utterly catastrophic hangover the next day, which (as my tolerance for booze has got so crap) would have me comatose, able only to reach as far as a bag of Doritos.

2. I am more likely to get vouchers for posh clothes and pampering places rather than WHSmiths. Hurrah!

3. Food has become more important, as I am more likely to be eating healthily the rest of the time.

4. I can afford nicer food! Like fresh pasta instead of supernoodles. And baklava instead of slightly stale asda cookies.

5. Birthdays have become more like New Year's Eve, in that I evaluate how the year's gone and how I want the next year to go. This year I am quite disgustingly smug.

6. I am a bit fatter now than I was then. But thinner than I was when I was twenty. Which is nice.

7. I can no longer stay up all night without needing a serious afternoon nap (or two) the next day. Although I did stay up till 4am on Friday, mainly to watch an utterly atrocious Jude Law film, that was also rather brilliant (mainly because it was so bad, but also because Jude Law is a dreamboat).

8. I have a boyfriend now (take that younger me!)

9. A vast number of my pressies involve kitchenware. I can only take this as a hint to make more cake.

10. My wishlist is more expensive, and more ignored.

11. My little brother gets me far better pressies now. (He got me 4 utterly brilliant DVDs this year, and a proper card! Not just 'happy birthday' written on a post it!)

12. I am less likely to want to go out for my birthday. I will only really go out to our local Italian, where they deep fry Brie and are therefore worthy of my birthday presence. I would go out if it was an exciting surprise or something, but defo not clubbing in London. Anything but. I get too pissed off with the prices, the music and the grimy men trying to grind on me. 'Can I buy you a drink?' 'That depends, will you try to sleep with me after?' '' 'Are you sure?' 'Uhm...' 'That girl over there looks single. Go try her. She has a see through top.'

13. House parties seem like hell. Avoid at all costs.

14. No one is free to party on a weekday any more. Everyone has jobs, and husbands (eek!)

15. I no longer have an overdraft (YESSSSS!!!)

So, quite good changes I'd say. Even though to my 18 year old self, I'd probably seem boring, I don't really care! I love my birthdays, lazy and food obsessed though they may be!
Hope you're having a weekend as lovely as I am Reader,

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