By Aislinn De'Ath

By Aislinn De'Ath
Click on my face to link to my vlog!

Monday 30 July 2012

More tales from the callcentre of doom...

Reader, this is an actual conversation I had today

Me: Hi Mr. Oldfart, it's just Ash calling from your wine society. How are you today?

Mr. Oldfart: Who?

Me: Your wine society Mr. Oldfart. Poshies Wine. You've been with us for 7 years.

Mr. Oldfart: What are you saying now?

Me (speaking veeeeeery slowly): IT'S ASH FROM YOUR WINE SOCIETY.

Mr. Oldfart: I don't want any groceries.

Me (trying not to be rude but failing miserably): No sir, we sell wine.

Mr. Oldfart: What language are you speaking? Bloody Indians.

Me (now pissed off): Sir, I come from England. I am calling from London.

Mr. OldFart: Are you from the library? 

Me: No, I'm from POSHIES. Would you like some wine? With a discount?

Mr. Oldfart: I haven't taken out any books.

Me: Sir, shall I call back later? You seem to be having trouble hearing me.

Mr. Oldfart: Stop mumbling! No, I can hear you.

Me: You can?

Mr. Oldfart: YES. I'm not deaf you know.

Me: Oh no Sir, I was just saying would you like some wine from us?

Mr. Oldfart: From the library?

Me: No sir, from Poshies.

Mr. Oldfart: I've never got wine from them

Me: Yes you have Sir, you got a case of reds and whites in march.

Mr. Oldfart: No. I buy from Poshies.

Me: That's us Sir.

Mr. Oldfart: No, you said you were called something else.

Me: No, definitely Poshies. Did you want some wine Sir?

Mr. Oldfart: I'm not deaf you know!

Me (groaning inwardly): I wouldn't suggest it Sir! What sort of wine do you like?

Mr. Oldfart: I haven't got time to talk now, call me back tomorrow!

Me: Ok sir.

(AS HE PUTS DOWN THE PHONE)

Mr. Oldfart: Bloody callcentres in bloody India.

I can't win. On the plus side, I managed to plan my outfit for the wedding today between calls! Still no idea what to wear for the hen do though. What does one wear to a hen do anyway? Feathers? I'm going to wear feathers. And possibly a beak.

Ash
x

No comments:

Post a Comment